January 14, 2010

Longingness

As I went to sleep last night, sudden thoughts came to my never-tiring-mind. For the teenage years of my life or since I understood what a relationship (boy and girl), I never had a functional or real relationship. Yes, I had a share of boys coming into my life. Those I admit were never really I never dare to love but just wanted to experience it. I dated but never been committed. I was not a commitment freak. I just want to have the right person. But alongside all my defense mechanisms, I long to have that one real relationship. That one relationship where I never need to ask if He is good enough for me and will ever be right for me.

I guess, I am a playgirl once in my life.

Well, I am still young. In the place I am now, I hope I bump into one satisfactory homo sapien to meet my freakin standard. hahaha



Leaving it all to God's will and to fate

I tried calling again Ms. Jan Oliver of Ipreo. In the past two days, I was waiting for her to call me back. In the two days of agony, I was trying to think of what I should I do. But I was a risk taker, so I tried calling again. It took me three times in dialing her number to get it right. I am becoming skeptical about the signs. Then she answered, then she interviewed me. She was really nice. I really feel the job was right for me. Even the pay is good enough. We were agreeing on the terms. So I am scheduled in the 21st, thursday for the personal interview.

I am hoping for the best. But whatever happens, I am already thankful to God.

January 12, 2010

Employment Dilemma

My Ate Christine called me regarding a voicemail left in their house's landline. Ipreo, a leader in software and market intelligence, called to ask for a phone interview. I applied to them in the last week for the position of a Research Analyst. I wanted the job, I felt that it fits me well. I should be happy as I heard the news. But rather I was in a state of dilemma. I was procastinating in getting the job and then I got bother that if I get the job, how do i leave my current employment. I am shy of one month in being a nanny for an elderly. It will just be my first month on the 19th. I am not in love with the job that I am in. But my employers and their family is nice to me most of the time. Yes, in the most common way i am a servant, a person who gives service. But they make it a noble job. Dr. Feroz even give me a phone line. And Dr. Tanveer gave a condition in giving me a laptop in the coming days or weeks if Grandma becomes better and does exercise or becomes stronger. I have always known that they want to help me in my schooling to get my Master's degree. But it is harder to leave when you are staying longer.


So do I stay or do I resign? In analization, this is a battle of ethics and ambition. I think I am scared of trying to apply for jobs for a while I am scared of the attachment or the responsibility I have with my current employment . I don't want to seem that I am using this family or job as a transition or whatsoever. I know that I am earning a less than I deserve but I am just starting. I want to give it time.

So what now? At this point, like I always do. I want to leave it all to God. I trust him. And I will follow where he leads me.

I just hope for the best things. I hate the feeling of dilemmas.


Oh by the way, I had my flu shot. Nice! a free flu shot from Dr. Gulshan. :-)

January 13, 2010

Overcoming Wii

I am not a computer or digital games fan. In the surge of new gadgets and games, I am not the right person to ask. And so with the availability of Wii in the house, and the unending urge of Myiesha for us to play, I played Wii sports. Wii as everyone knows is a gadget what uses virtual interactive gadgets to play. I was like this kid trying to learn a new trick. I know and I play bowling but playing it in Wii is different. With all the buttons and unknown strategy. It was a game to be conquered. We also played tennis. Virtual tennis. And when it came to boxing, I thought my age, strength will let me win. Instead, the five-year old Myiesha has higher points than me.

On Parenthood

As I was asked to tuitor and teach reading and writing lessong to Myiesha, my patience was tested. And then the thoughts on me being a parent filled my mind. Myiesha is like the will-be-bratty-kid-if-not-guided-properluy. I knew that teaching takes patience but I realized it meant unconditional patience. This is so with parenting. Teaching a kid about reading and writing was part of being a parent. And so I was wondering, how will I be as a parent? It was now that I was appreciating how my mother was a teacher to me. I am pretty proud of myself not being a brat. But how did I end up not being one.

Parenting is different in every generation. There is no perfect guidebook for everything. And every result varies.

So like myiesha learning, I am learning to on how to be a parent or at least preparing on how to be one. I am not rushing to be one.hahaha

Myiesha's firsts

Myiesha is becoming so dear to my heart. Though I was intended to take care of her grandma. She is becoming my little sister or so a daughter. With her, I was learning how will I teach my future kids. Also, with her, I am happy that I am the one teaching her firsts and being with her as she does her firsts.

Aside from making her crack her first egg, make and cook pancake; I made myiesha go her first shampoo commercial and made her first injection.

She is demanding at times but I am dealing with it. I am happy that I am making her happy.

Kids are kids. You love them no matter what. :-)+